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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Secret Service Sex Scandal is bullshit

Good morning! I just had to take a moment and say.... This Secret Service sex scandal is not a scandal! Arrrrr. They were in a country where it is legal to pick up a hooker. Now, do I have a problem with the idea of dining and dashing? Yeah, she put out and she should have been paid. If that really happened anyway.. But really, isn't the whole media effort to sensationalize this a bit over done?

What men do after hours or on their own time is really, their own business. I could give a shit less whether they went out for a piece of pussy. Come on, their jobs are stressful enough, and I believe everyone deserves to have sex. It's natural and instinctive to want it.

If someone says they don't think about sex...THEY ARE LYING. 

If these poor bastards have wives or significant others at home, huh, they are in a heap of trouble. Besides, a woman scorned can punish a man better, any day.  The damn media can take anything and turn it into a fucking three ring circus in minutes. WHO CARES? The President wasn't even there. Why destroy a man's livelihood for having sex? Is it really that big of a deal?

Okay, deep breaths here....

Here are my Do's and Don't for men wanting to pick up hookers.


1. Never, ever pick up a hooker and tell her what you do for a living or brag about your occupation.

    Do brag if your dick is bigger than 10 inches long.


2. Never, ever tell a hooker your real name, especially when you work for the President.

    Do make up a bunch of bullshit and flatter her with compliments instead.

    

3. Don't dine and dash. Pay for the service. Hello!

    Do pay and tip well dumb shit. Didn't your mother teach you anything?


4. Never take potential witnesses. Are we amateurs here?

    Do go alone. You don't go take a piss with your buddy. Why go pick up hookers with him?


Tip: If you can't take good advice...Stay in your hotel room, rent porn and jack off, because you're too stupid to be let out. 


I feel much better now that I got that off my chest. :)


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