Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Random Babbling of a Psychotic Author

Have you ever wondered what goes on inside the head of an author? Let me tell ya, it isn't pretty.

I worked way too damn long on a book, for reasons only my subconscious knows. I thought I'd share a little of the craziness that went on inside my head while I was working on Karma for Hire.

Karma, who else believes besides me? I for one am a firm believer. We reap what we sow. Sow good seeds and good will come back to you. Sow bad, and yeah, get ready.

We all know the jokes about karma, share them, and get a kick out of reading them, but what if karma was a real entity?  I asked myself this question and began to wonder what she'd be like. (Of course Karma would be a woman btw) What kind of entity would she be? Good? Bad? Or a mix or both?

Then I thought, wouldn't it be great if we could hire her, since you know, karma takes so long and all. What if there was a way to move to the front of the line? I'm not a patient person, so this is something I wanted to know. Ever heard the old saying, "It might not be next week, next month, or even next year, but karma will eventually catch up to you." This understanding about karma doesn't do much for my impatient psyche. What if we could speed up the process? Would there be a fee for expedient service? What would a human have to pay? Any disclaimers we should know about?

I'm a lot like a kid hyped up on sugar when my brain gets to going. I jotted down notes, questions, more notes...holy crapnuggets, I was in a frenzy! I asked myself ridiculous questions, "Surely Karma can't do the job alone. Who would help her? Does she have employees? Who are they?" Because really, no one entity could do that enormous job alone! Right?

Ultimate light bulb moment! My brain screamed out the answer! Eureka! There's good karma and bad karma. Of course she needs an evil source to deliver bad karma, and a good source for good karma. Duh! Angels and demons!

I'm reeling, so excited that I'm about to wet my pants. Really, I may have.

But how do I put all this into a book? What kind of book should it be? I love to laugh and I'm always cutting up, should it be funny? Or serious? Pfft to serious. I need to laugh. I want to have fun. The book should most definitely be fun! Genre? Oh, hell, I write erotic romance. Should I make it erotic? No, the story forming in my head isn't erotic at all.

My daughter asked me if I could please write something that I would allow her to read someday. Oh, geesh. No pressure there. What about a romantic comedy? Can I even pull one off? *head desk* What if readers hate it? Oh, my stomach is churning, but I want to write this book. I'm funny, right? My kids laugh at me. My husband laughs at me. I've got a good sense of humor....I'm so dead.

Wow. I'm a raving lunatic. Not only have I built a tremendous story in my head, I'm not sure how to write it!

The only way to grow as a writer is to take on new challenges. Right?

I'm so screwed, but I love what I have envisioned! I have to do it, because if I don't, I will go insane!

What if I write it and everyone hates it? Oh, god, what if they hate it? Am I ready for that? *head desk*

I'm a complete moron. No one will think anything I write in this romantic comedy is funny.

Last will of an author daring to step out of their comfort zone:

I bequeath any and all royalties I "might" earn after the dust has settled to my children.

Husband, please understand that I tried.

Sister, please talk up my other books that have good ratings so that my children may enjoy a tiny trip to the mall every now and then.

Goodbye, cruel world....

Anyone beginning to realize just how insane authors really are? Er, maybe just me... I dare you to find a single one that hasn't felt uncertainty about a book they've written. I dare you.

For me, I openly admit that I'm a lunatic. I'm led by the voices in my head. My characters are as real as the green grass in my lawn. Of course, they reside somewhere else, on another plane where everyone gets a happily ever after....

Words. Books are made up of words, thoughts, and ideas. What makes them powerful are the authors behind them and how they deliver those words. Am I a master wordsmith? Nope. Do I try? Yep, all the damn time. Am I a psycho with lots of imaginary friends? Absolutely!

This concludes random babbling of an psychotic author....Join me next time as I embark on my very first trip to the insane asylum, or some other complete random post I decide to write.

Stay tuned for the release of Karma for Hire.



  1. LOL, I loved that, and if you're crazy, then so am I ;-)